


I Swear If I Hear the Word Penis One More Time I Might Just Punch a Bloke

by TheKyoshiWarrior



Series: Tumblr AU's for my shipper's heart [2]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: #college au, #cute babies, #fluff, #human au, #libaries, #slight dennor, #the penis game, #tumblr posts, #usuk, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-14
Updated: 2015-10-14
Packaged: 2018-04-26 07:22:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4995436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheKyoshiWarrior/pseuds/TheKyoshiWarrior
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alfred and his friends always play the stupidest games out in public. At the moment they are really into the penis game. Arthur just wants to study, but apparently libraries are where the idiots like to hang out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Swear If I Hear the Word Penis One More Time I Might Just Punch a Bloke

**Author's Note:**

> [Original AU idea: wadestaco on tumblr]
> 
> I wrote the story not the prompt!
> 
> (T for swearing)

"You and your friends have been playing the penis game in the library for the last five minutes and none of you have gotten above a quiet yell and I'm really just trying to study over here so I'm gonna put an end to this by winning the game. AU"

It started out so quiet Arthur wasn't quite sure he'd even heard correctly. Perhaps they were just talking about the various textbooks around them. But as the blonde turned back to his history book he heard it again

"penis."

Arthur's thick brows furrowed as he glanced up. His bottle-green eyes swept over the three males on the table in front of his. All of them were very attractive, almost unfairly so. A tall looking blond with unruly blond spikes in his hair was holding back a loud laugh. His bright blue eyes trained on the silvery haired guy across from him. This one was very pale, with eyes an alarming shade of crimson. He looked to be a the shortest of the group, and was built a bit more muscular than the spiky haired blonde. He was hissing out his own weird form of a chuckle.

"Penis."

Arthur squinted even more at the middle figure in the group. He was leaning back in his chair, a huge grin on his tanned face. Behind wire framed glasses, his cornflower blue eyes sparkled with a glint of something Arthur couldn't figure out. It seemed a mix between happiness and mischievousness, making the golden-blonde look genuine and good-natured. He, was definitely the hottest one at that table.

"Bloody unfair." Arthur mumbled, clicking his tongue at the attractive males before turning back to his book. It was study time!

"What's unfair?" Arthur's table-mate asked, not sparing a glance up from his own notes.

Lukas Bondevik was easily Arthur's best friend. The two had a great companionship, and even though the other seemed slightly emotionless, Arthur knew there was more to him.

Lukas was from Norway, and he'd met Arthur during the foreign students orientation. They'd instantly clicked, both enthralled with each others interests in magic and mythical creatures.

Lukas finally looked up at Arthur, his dark blue eyes scanning the yellowish-blonde's face. Easily guessing the cause of Arthur's distress, he flicked his eyes towards the neighboring table, before looking back at Arthur with a raised eyebrow. He opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by a quiet whisper-shout from that table.

"Penis!"

He shut his mouth and pursed his lips. "I see," was the beige-blonde's response.

"PEnis!"

"I swear if I hear the word penis one more bleeding time I am going to punch the bloke who said it." Arthur whispered furiously to Lukas. He scowled darkly and glanced at the clock. Five whole minutes of hearing them whisper penis. Who even does that?

"penis!" The red-eyed male shouted in his whispering voice, louder than the others dared. The two blondes gasped, making faces to hold back their laughs. 

"Arthur, I do believe you have to go punch him now." Lukas pointed out, looking at Arthur. Though he wasn't smirking, Arthur could just imagine him doing so as he said that.

"No I'm serious. Can't they go fool around somewhere else?" Arthur responded as he looked at the table again. The really attractive blonde caught Arthur's gaze and his eyes seemed to brighten slightly. Arthur stiffened and quickly looked down at his book, face turning red in embarrassment.

"That one on the right end. His name is Mathias. He is my boyfriend." Lukas stated matter-of-factly, causing Arthur to choke on his own breathe.

"You're kidding!" Arthur asked, wide eyed and confused. Yes, he knew Lukas had a boyfriend, but he'd never met him. Arthur's assumed the man lived elsewhere.

"Do I look like I'm kidding?" Lukas questioned in return, raising his brow at Arthur yet again. It was, as Arthur had noticed, one of his blue eyed friends tics. He did it when asking questions, realistic or rhetorical otherwise.

"No, I just. . . I didn't. Sorry, I'd assumed he lived elsewhere." Arthur stated.

"He is an idiot." Lukas replied, not even acknowledging Arthur's apology.

"Penis!" 

"How charming." Arthur grimaced, looking back to quickly avert his gaze again when he was met with a winning smile, and beautiful blue eyes.

"His friends bring out the stupid I swear." Lukas replied, shaking his head at Arthur. "He's an idiot yes, but even more so around them."

"Do you know who the other guys are?" Arthur asked, resisting the urge to turn his head and look straight. He could feel those blue eyes still watching him.

"His name is Alfred." Lukas said with a knowing sigh, eyes shining with amusement.

"I didn't, how did you? Whatever." Arthur mumbled, face flushing again as his friend continued look at him.

"I'll be right back." Lukas said suddenly. Arthur gave the other a curious look that suddenly turned panicked as the blue eyed man stood gracefully and walked right up to his boyfriend. The entire table fell silent immediately.

Lukas didn't even spare anyone else a glance as he laid a hand on Mathias's shoulder and leaned down to say something to him. He whispered something into the spiky haired blondes ear before pulling back to see his response.

Mathias furrowed his eyebrows in contemplation before nodding and smiling at Lukas.

"No problem babe." He responded giving Lukas a thumbs up. Lukas in return rolled his eyes. He stepped back as if to leave but hesitated slightly. He quickly leaned back down to peck his boyfriend on the cheek before turning around and walking back towards Arthur. The eyes of the three men at the table followed Lukas back to Arthur. Mathias's gaze lingered on Arthur before he turned back towards Alfred and their other friend.

"Math! Who's the dude with Lukas?" The red-eyed man whispered none to quietly. Arthur stayed looking down at his book as he listened to the exchange. He glanced at Lukas and the had already returned to reading his notes as if nothing had even happened.

"It's ok. Just trust me." Lukas whispered, feeling Arthur's gaze on him.

"That, my dear friend is Arthur Kirkland. He's English." Mathias stated simply, speaking as if it was common knowledge.

"How come I've never seen him before?" He questioned.

"I don't know Gil, maybe if you paid attention to anything other than that Hungarian that sits in front of you in our English Lit class you'd realize that he literally sits right next to her in front of me." Alfred interjected, making his way into the conversation.

Arthur stiffened at the implications of this. Those were the two who always talked during the lesson?

"Huh," Gil responded, "anyways. . . penis!"

"Goddamnit." Arthur growled to himself, feeling the sudden urge to hit his head against the table, repeatedly.

The group shared a laugh before continuing the game.

"Penis!"

"PENis!"

Enough. Arthur stood up suddenly, causing his chair to fall backwards and he glared angrily at the group, all of whom had turned to see what the noise was.

"Fucking PEENNIS!" Arthur yelled as loud as he could. "You bloody arses are so annoying! I can't even study with your stupid game!"

"Young man I'm going to have to ask you to leave. Now." Arthur turned to see a very angry and disappointed looking librarian glaring at him.

"Oh FUCKING course!" Arthur huffed, throwing his arms up in defeat.

"I can make it a permanent ban." The woman threatened, crossing her arms. "If you leave quietly now, you can return in a week, that is if you can keep that mouth of yours at bay."

Arthur grumbled to himself as he gathered his things. "See you later Lukas." He spit out angrily.

"Bye Arthur." The other spoke as if nothing had happened, and he was so used to Arthur's outbursts it was almost as if nothing had.

With one last venomous glare at the three shocked guys at the other table, he threw his backpack over his shoulder and stalked out of the library.

Attractive or not those guys were ridiculously immature

"Hey! Arthur!" 

Arthur whipped around, watching the well built figure jog up to him, not even breathing hard when he came to an easy stop. Alfred.

"What do you want." Arthur asked as he crossed his arms uncomfortably. He tried avoiding the others gaze but found he couldn't resist the other blonde's eyes.

"I came to apologize." The man said with a genuinely apologetic face. He reached a hand up to scratch the hair at the nape of his neck in a sheepish gesture. "Me and my friends can be kinda stupid sometimes."

"My friends and I." Arthur corrected automatically, blushing once he realized that he'd corrected the others grammer.

"Huh?" Alfred asked, bringing his brows together in confusion.

"It's my friends and I, not me and my friends." Arthur mumbled, feeling his face redden farthur

"R-right. Anyways, I uh, I'm sorry we ruined your study time. Oh, and got you kicked out of the library. We were just playing some dumb game. I didn't even realize it was bothering you guys." Alfred confessed.

"It's quite alright. What's done is done am I right?" Arthur said. Man was it getting hot? "I accept your apology nonetheless." He made a move to walk around the other, in a hurry to leave his presence when a hand shot out and grabbed his arm.

"Wait!" Alfred said suddenly. Arthur paused and took a step back to look at Alfred expectantly. What did he even want?

"L-let me make it up to you. I can, I can buy you a meal sometime?" Alfred asked rather than stated, giving Arthur a pleading look.

"That wouldn't be terrible." Arthur responded, flushing. He made a move to pull his arm away but was stopped with another tug from Alfred.

"I'm Alfred." He said lamely, staring into Arthur's eyes.

"I know. " Arthur responded, unable to look away

"When can I see you again?" Alfred asked, he seemed desperate. He didn't want Arthur to leave.

"I can do lunch tomorrow." Arthur mumbled, looking down at his arm. The other still held onto his wrist tightly.

"Great!" Alfred sighed flashing a big relieved smile. "Meet me at the cafeteria? We can go out after that."

"Alright." Arthur replied, making a move to leave again.

"Bye Arthur." Alfred said with a smile, pulling the shorter back for the last time.

"Bye Alfred." Arthur chuckled slightly. Alfred finally let go of his arm and he smiled slightly at the other. He pushed past Alfred and started back down the sidewalk, face hot and wrist tingling. He had a date with Alfred

Oh my god! He had a date with Alfred! Arthur was unable to erase the wide grin that slid into his face as he walked back towards his dorms.

**Author's Note:**

> Well I had fun with this one actually!
> 
> I don't think I would mind making this one into a two-shots to be honest. Cute UsUk lunch dates are life xD just let me know if you want to see how that goes and I might be (read: will be) persuaded to write a part 2.
> 
> Also if you have any other AU's you'd like to see by all means just let me know! Just try to let me know who they are originally from please!


End file.
